When I first decided to begin this blog, I knew I wanted to use it as a platform... A journal of sorts, to post about things that I was feeling at the moment. For the most part, I use it to post recipes and craft ideas, but from time to time, I feel the need to blog about something personal. I do this mostly for my own benefit. For starters, I feel that it is a good form of therapy to write about things, but I also intend on using this blog as way to reflect back on what was going on in our family at any given time.
Being that it is National Breastfeeding Awareness month, I felt that it was a very appropriate time to blog about a very relevant event for my family and I right now.
This past week marks the end of mine and Max's 13 month breastfeeding journey (so I like to call it). I have a lot of mixed feelings about this, and am hopeful that writing about it will help me deal with these feelings.
I knew before I was even pregnant that I wanted to breastfeed my future child. I'm not really sure why exactly. Sure, there are millions of women out there who decide to do it for a multitude of reasons, but I can't name one specific thing that drove me to make this decision. Of course, we all know of the health benefits, as well as the mother-baby bond it forms, but I must tell you, I in no-way feel that mothers who nurse their babies rather than use formula to feed them are in any way superior. I am just not one of those people who feels the need to push my opinions on what is best, when it comes to parenting, on other people. Being a mother is hard enough, we're all doing all that we can to provide the best possible lives for our little ones... So who am I to tell someone how they should or should not feed their children?
The sad truth is, that I know a lot of mothers who have set out wanting to breastfeed, but have run into problems along the way, and had no choice but to go the formula route. Some women I know chose from the very beginning not to breastfeed, and that's just fine too.
Which brings me to mine and Max's little nursing journey. Though I was extremely fortunate to never have to experience any of the problems that many of my breastfeeding peers had to go through, I certainly ran into some problems of my own. Max never had a problem with latching on, I never dealt with supply issues. I was blessed enough to be a stay-at-home mom, so I never had to worry about pumping while at work... Our "issues" were on the other end of the spectrum.
For the last 13 months, my son NEVER took a bottle. I can't tell you how many people said to me, "when he's hungry enough, he'll drink from a bottle!" It simply wasn't true. See, my sweet little Max has inherited both mine and his father's stubborn streak, and I'll be darned, our child could not be broken.
We bought every type of bottle on the market. We tried having other people give him the bottle. We tried sugar water. We tried apple juice. I tried leaving the house. We tried holding out on feedings. No matter what, every time we tried to give him a bottle, it was batted away and refused.
For the last 13 months, for lack of a better term, I have been a slave to my son... But the truth is, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Sure, it's been tough, never being able to leave my son for more than a few hours. Of course, there were moments, while at public events, that I stared in awe of mothers who could just whip out a bottle and feed their babies right then and there, rather than have to find a quiet private corner to hide in or break out the dreaded nursing cover. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to the fact that there were times that I really wanted enjoy that extra glass of wine, but didn't because I knew it was selfish when I had a baby to nurse.
All of that aside though, over the course of the last 13 months, I have formed a bond with my son,
that I will never forget. For 365 plus days, I rocked my precious boy to sleep every night while
nursing him in my arms. I watched as he twirled his own hair so relaxed and comforted by what I was providing him with. Something so simple and natural, but yet so special. In the mornings, I got to bring him into our bed, to snuggle, while he nursed himself back to sleep. I have loved every single sweet second of being a breastfeeding mama.
So, why you ask, did I decide to wean my son? I just felt it was time. When I first made the decision to breastfeed, I set the goal of doing it for a year. After Max's first birthday, I began to realize that getting him to take a sippy cup or a bottle was becoming more and more of a challenge. I felt that I had made a goal, and that I had reached and surpassed it, and the time just felt right.
It was sad to accept, and still is, but I still stand by my decision and can honestly can say I feel good about it. With a lot of help from my husband, the weaning process went surprisingly better than I thought. I truly believe that Max was ready too though, because in the last couple of weeks, he has come to love his sippy cup, and even finds joy in trying to feed me and my husband with it.
I think the journey is different for all of us. Whether you bottle-feed, or choose to nurse your child well into the toddler years. We all have to do what is right for us as parents, regardless of the pressure and opinions we get from others. Ultimately, I think we all just want to do what best for our children. We are all different, and this is just what was best for ME and MY child. Thank you for letting me share about my experiences.
Happy Breastfeeding Awareness Month!